Separated to Love

Lord, I want to yearn for You

I want to burn with passion

Over You, and only You

(Shane & Shane)

What does loving God really look like? How can I know if I'm doing it right? What areas of my life still need His touch? These questions and more I thought about during the time I spent in the IHOP-KC Prayer Room over Christmas break. I had gone to Kansas City for the OneThing convention, but God had much more to teach me than just thoughts on the End Times.

As I spent time in prayer, the question Jesus kept asking me was "What would it look like...?" What would it look like if I gave my all for Him? What would my life become if I let Him have those areas I had still been holding back? What does this "fasted lifestyle" they were talking about REALLY mean?

For all the 7 years I've been a Christian, I've always set goals to strive for in the spiritual disciplines (prayer, reading the Bible, fasting, personal worship times, staying away from certain sins, etc). During my time at IHOP, however, God turned all of that upside down (he is really good at that, it seems!). In each of the areas I had set goals for myself, He gave me another one, at a much deeper level.

But then... the Lord pointed out something more - beyond the Scripture reading, fasting, prayer, and avoiding sin. What would it take to really love Him with all I am? Would I be willing to give up even LEGITIMATE pleasures for the sake of the gospel? I'm not really talking about comfort - I've already done plenty of "roughing it" on the mission field and I'm fine with that. But the things He was asking suddenly cut to an even deeper level that I didn't realize I was holding back. What about fun? What about my friends? My music? What about... a number of things that are not at all sinful, but not absolutely necessary either. Up until now, I had a line drawn between things that were wrong and everything else. Now God was trying to push that line farther, closer to keeping only the things that would be for the Kingdom, and cutting out some things that aren't necessary.

The first two weeks of this... Fail. :( My outings with friends, watching movies with family, and time listening to the songs I had given up kept me from my quiet times. Sure I went to prayer meetings, kept fasting and memorizing Scripture in downtimes at work, but that's a far shot from what the Lord was calling me to. This is not going to be easy, and I don't really know where to start. I'm going to have to practice saying No to the things I love, in order to be able to say Yes to the One I love more.

"What you feed on is what you hunger for." (Heidi Baker) I believe that as I press in to know more of God, the things I give up to get there will fade so that I don't even miss them, and my desire for the things of God will grow. But that's not where I am... not now. It's only the hope I hold on to, in order to get there someday.

Welcome to Adventure

We can't be faint of heart

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him..." - Philippians 3:7-9a (NIV)